A Hawaiian newspaper headline shouts out, "Fake tree may hide cell tower?, accompanied by a picture of an 80-foot pine tree towering over the state tree, the Kukui. At first I was fearful that this was a Rorschach test and if I couldn?t find it I would be labeled forever as an advocate of no towers, anywhere, any century on this or other known and undiscovered planets with faulty 4G systems. It proved to be easier than having to identify Dennis Rodman in a photograph of a three-member Scandinavian evangelical church choir at a Minnesota ice cream social. Thankfully, manufacturers are finally getting suppliers that provide realistic looking branches and leaves. Planning and zoning commissions are getting more knowledgeable and are requesting adequate presentations of what the monopines and other tree offerings will look like. However, the industry has to police itself and shun arboreal cross dressers that appear to be monumental baby bottle brushes. Early stealth tree/tower sites are embarrassing and provide a poor image of what is available today from an industry that wants to partner with communities. I?m not advocating that the state?s legislative branch should decide what foliage is acceptable, but common sense and a sense of aesthetics should prevail by carriers that goosestep to budget über alles. They don?t drop their leaves and you won?t drop your calls, say carriers that want to fill in a dead spot in their cell phone communications network. Unfortunately, some of the stealth facades are absolutely terrible as concealed structures. A Nimitz class carrier would have a better chance of not being noticed if it was disguised as a faux fish stick.